My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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