so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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