Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
