hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
