So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
