I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
