i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
