Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
