is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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