dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
