just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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