Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
