i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
