Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
