I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
