I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
