i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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