hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
