I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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