in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
