as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
