i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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