if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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