I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
