That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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