Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
