How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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