I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
