i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
