Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
