Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
my poor anus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
