no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
