youre lurking in front of me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
