Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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