I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
