Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My life is pants optional.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
