a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
