Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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