We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
