where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
