he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
