My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
