I'm drive I can fine osifer
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
