I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
