chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
