I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
