Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
