God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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