I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
