ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
