i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
