marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
