you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
