Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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