I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
