You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
